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Chapter 1: The Party
It was a normal Friday, school started at 8:30, math was boring, english was boring, let's be honest, school was boring. After school finished I headed over to Ethan's house. Ethan is a grade nine with the facial features of a 35 year old, but surprisingly has the personality of a someone who's five. Abdu on the other hand is essentially the opposite, he has a baby face, and is rather quite shy, but if you anger this kid he will not be afraid to Hulk out on you. Then there's Austin, he's actually a weird kid. Like really weird. I can't even really describe him since he's really a wild-card. Some days he's normal, others... you get my point. I walked up to Ethan's house and knocked on his door and Ethan answered it in a Ronald McDonald costume. "Ethan what are you wearing?" I asked.
"Oh sorry I was just getting ready for church." he replied.
I did not care to participate any further in that conversation so I just walked inside and sat down with the rest of the gang. By gang I mean 2 people, Austin and Abdu.
"What's going on boys?" I asked Abdu and Austin.
"Nothing, Ethan's just rambling on like always." Austin replied.
"Oh sorry I was just getting ready for church." he replied.
I did not care to participate any further in that conversation so I just walked inside and sat down with the rest of the gang. By gang I mean 2 people, Austin and Abdu.
"What's going on boys?" I asked Abdu and Austin.
"Nothing, Ethan's just rambling on like always." Austin replied.
"It's really messed up man." Abdu said.
"Do I even want to know?" I asked.
"So you know how I visit the farm every 2 months right?" Ethan asked.
"Yeah you tell us about how much it sucks like all the time." I replied.
Ethan poured some milk and then said, "Well, recently on a website I was watching, I saw a video that interested me. About thirty seconds later I read the comments, and TheManInTheVan_76 commented and asked "If a chicken and a human could have sexual intercourse, would the offspring be a chicken or a human?""
"It wouldn't matter that can't even happen." Abdu groaned.
Ethan spat out his milk, jumped up off his chair and yelled, "Or can it?!"
"Ethan, you didn't." I begged.
"What? My parents were gone and there weren't any camer-oh crap." Ethan said.
"Oh my God! Ethan has a family movie like Kim Cardashian." Austin exclaimed.
"Wait wait wait. Austin. You thought that THAT video of Kim Cardashian was a family video?" I asked.
"You mean the one where she got *bleeped* and *bleep* then she went and *bleep* then I was like 'oh wow that's nice', but then she *bleeped* him right in his *bleep*?" Austin asked.
"Ok, so we are talking about the same video." I confirmed.
"Anyway guys long story short-" Ethan was saying until Abdu interrupted and said,
"It wasn't a long story. You *bleeped* a chicken."
"Hey. I will McSlap you." Ethan said as he took off his shirt and started spitting milk at Abdu. "Moo Abdu! Moo! I'm a giraffe." Ethan yelled.
Honestly at this point I think that you're as lost as I am. I quickly turned this weird conversation into something that really mattered. Randy's party.
"Do I even want to know?" I asked.
"So you know how I visit the farm every 2 months right?" Ethan asked.
"Yeah you tell us about how much it sucks like all the time." I replied.
Ethan poured some milk and then said, "Well, recently on a website I was watching, I saw a video that interested me. About thirty seconds later I read the comments, and TheManInTheVan_76 commented and asked "If a chicken and a human could have sexual intercourse, would the offspring be a chicken or a human?""
"It wouldn't matter that can't even happen." Abdu groaned.
Ethan spat out his milk, jumped up off his chair and yelled, "Or can it?!"
"Ethan, you didn't." I begged.
"What? My parents were gone and there weren't any camer-oh crap." Ethan said.
"Oh my God! Ethan has a family movie like Kim Cardashian." Austin exclaimed.
"Wait wait wait. Austin. You thought that THAT video of Kim Cardashian was a family video?" I asked.
"You mean the one where she got *bleeped* and *bleep* then she went and *bleep* then I was like 'oh wow that's nice', but then she *bleeped* him right in his *bleep*?" Austin asked.
"Ok, so we are talking about the same video." I confirmed.
"Anyway guys long story short-" Ethan was saying until Abdu interrupted and said,
"It wasn't a long story. You *bleeped* a chicken."
"Hey. I will McSlap you." Ethan said as he took off his shirt and started spitting milk at Abdu. "Moo Abdu! Moo! I'm a giraffe." Ethan yelled.
Honestly at this point I think that you're as lost as I am. I quickly turned this weird conversation into something that really mattered. Randy's party.
"Ok guys, that's enough of the milk spitting. It's time to talk about something big. Ethan I swear to God if you even say I-"
"Something big like MY EGO?" Ethan asked.
"What? No, just shut up Ethan. As you all didn't know, Randy is throwing an amazing party tonight."
"Oh, we were invited?" Austin asked.
"Haha no, but I have a plan. If we hop over some fences we could sneak into the party from the backyard." I said.
"Can I bring some waffles?" Ethan asked.
I walked over to Ethan slapped him and told him, "No, but you can take off the stupid costume and get changed."
Ethan looked at me and started crying.
"Anthony, that was the last thing his Grandma ever wore. It was a gift." Austin said.
"What? What kind of gift was that? And more importantly why was that the last thing she ever wore?" I asked. Ethan responded while still crying and said,
"She was trying to find the long lost treasure of Mr.Crabs."
I looked at my friends and all I said was "Get out."
"Something big like MY EGO?" Ethan asked.
"What? No, just shut up Ethan. As you all didn't know, Randy is throwing an amazing party tonight."
"Oh, we were invited?" Austin asked.
"Haha no, but I have a plan. If we hop over some fences we could sneak into the party from the backyard." I said.
"Can I bring some waffles?" Ethan asked.
I walked over to Ethan slapped him and told him, "No, but you can take off the stupid costume and get changed."
Ethan looked at me and started crying.
"Anthony, that was the last thing his Grandma ever wore. It was a gift." Austin said.
"What? What kind of gift was that? And more importantly why was that the last thing she ever wore?" I asked. Ethan responded while still crying and said,
"She was trying to find the long lost treasure of Mr.Crabs."
I looked at my friends and all I said was "Get out."
We walked up to Randy's house but it seemed pretty calm. "Are you sure this is the right house Anthony?" Abdu asked.
"Yeah, on Facelook it says it's located at 123 Fakelocation Street."
"Well this is 123 Fakelocation Street." Austin said.
We walked behind the house and looked through the fence.
"Do you see anyone?" Ethan asked.
"Nope, it's about as empty as my dads heart." Abdu responded.
"Daddy issues." I whispered to Ethan and Austin.
We decided to hop the fence and look through the backdoor anyway. Abdu went first, but when he hoped the fence he fell face forward.
"Oh my God, what is all over my face?" Abdu asked.
Ethan, Austin, and I all looked at each other and nodded.
"Oh my God. Is this dog *bleep*? Oh God it *bleeping* is dog *bleep*."
"Abdu go check out the house." Ethan asked.
Abdu walked up to the door and looked in. To be honest, at that moment I don't know what Abdu saw. He just started running as we heard little kids cry. Abdu hopped the fence and told us to run. Once we caught our breath we asked Abdu what was wrong and he said that it was the wrong address and their was a bunch of little kids in that house playing.
"So you like little kids Abdu?" Ethan asked. "You literally *bleeped* a chicken dude." Abdu said.
"And I'd do it again." Ethan claimed.
"Yeah, on Facelook it says it's located at 123 Fakelocation Street."
"Well this is 123 Fakelocation Street." Austin said.
We walked behind the house and looked through the fence.
"Do you see anyone?" Ethan asked.
"Nope, it's about as empty as my dads heart." Abdu responded.
"Daddy issues." I whispered to Ethan and Austin.
We decided to hop the fence and look through the backdoor anyway. Abdu went first, but when he hoped the fence he fell face forward.
"Oh my God, what is all over my face?" Abdu asked.
Ethan, Austin, and I all looked at each other and nodded.
"Oh my God. Is this dog *bleep*? Oh God it *bleeping* is dog *bleep*."
"Abdu go check out the house." Ethan asked.
Abdu walked up to the door and looked in. To be honest, at that moment I don't know what Abdu saw. He just started running as we heard little kids cry. Abdu hopped the fence and told us to run. Once we caught our breath we asked Abdu what was wrong and he said that it was the wrong address and their was a bunch of little kids in that house playing.
"So you like little kids Abdu?" Ethan asked. "You literally *bleeped* a chicken dude." Abdu said.
"And I'd do it again." Ethan claimed.
So there you have it. This isn't a story about a group of four cool kids, but rather four unlikely heroes, that have the power of friendship to get them out of any jam. Except Abdu, he was charged for watching the little kids.
The Knockers Chapter 1: The Party
Written by Anthony Parisone
Cover and logo made by Kevin Shaw
Chapter 2: The Field Trip
Chapter 2: The Field Trip
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